


Words Are Not Enough

by AllyBallyBee



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealous Ben, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyBallyBee/pseuds/AllyBallyBee
Summary: Ben sees Callum in The Albert on his date with Simon...
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 16
Kudos: 47





	Words Are Not Enough

Callum was sitting at the bar in the Albert wondering what he was doing; why he’d bothered to come for this date. He thought about the picture of Simon that Rainie sent. He _was_ handsome and maybe in another life he’d like to get to know him, but not this life. There was only one person he wanted in this life. Only one person he needed. The person who had shut down and shut him out. The person who said he didn’t want his love. The person who told him to find someone else to love...

Ben.

Ben was peering in the window of the Albert, out of nosiness rather than curiosity. He wasn’t looking for any hook ups, he was still in too much pain following the hardest decision he’d ever had to make in his life. The decision to choose family over happiness. Over the one person who made him happy. The person who made him whole. The person he hoped one day would understand it was just as painful, if not more so, for Ben than him. The person he lied to and told he didn't want his love, the person he told to find someone else to love... 

Callum. 

Ben’s heart stopped as he spotted him sitting at the bar chatting with Tina as she handed him a beer. He caught his breath as watched; there was something off about the situation. Something different about Callum that didn’t sit right. Ben felt his stomach drop. He was dressed up. This wasn’t a pint on the way home. He always looked gorgeous, Ben knew this well enough, but he’d obviously made an effort tonight. Why would he do that? Was Callum on the _pull_?! 

  
Ben got his answer soon after when a tall, vanilla but still handsome, man approached him, seeming to mouth “Callum?” as he extended his hand. Ben felt as if he’d been punched in the solar plexus as all the air left his body. Callum was on a date?! 

A tight knot of jealousy formed in his stomach at the thought of someone else’s hands touching Callum. It might be just a handshake, but that was all it took for Ben to fall... 

He can see from here that Callum is doing the thing where he is blinking almost constantly but slowly, something he does when he's nervous and fuck, if it doesn’t make Ben's heart flutter and his breath hitch. He loves getting lost in those oceans of blue so much. He thinks of those lashes that blink eyelids hooded with dark want, exposing pupils blown with heat and ecstasy as he falls apart underneath Ben, Ben who lives just to map Callum tip to toe with his tongue, committing the hot and magnificent body to memory just until the next time he can do it all over again. He thinks of Callum's thick thighs that he can nibble and bite, leaving his mark; stamping his ownership. His mind wanders to Callum's glorious cock that gets hard, _so_ _fucking_ _hard_ , just for Ben. The taste of him in Ben's mouth and the hair that tickles Ben's nose when he deep throats him. The thought of someone else getting to see that view, lick that body, taste that cock and see those eyes full of lust and wanton desire - just for you – he couldn’t stand it. 

But of course, Callum would be on a date. He would never be single for long. Ben thought he should only be surprised that The Albert wasn’t mobbed already with thirsty men all lining up to try their luck with the stunning, tall drink of water that Callum was; the Callum that had no idea just how good looking, how sweet, how attractive, how _fucking sexy_ he was. The Callum that used to be his. Ben couldn’t bear to watch the nervy but convivial exchange at the bar anymore, so closed his eyes and exhaled. 

  
He'd had no choice. He'd _had_ to keep his dad out of prison, keep him from serving a life sentence for murder, and the part of Ben that had to do that - do what was needed – he couldn’t ever let Callum know or see that part of him. It would repel him, and as much as Ben's actions had hurt Callum, at least he wasn’t repulsed by Ben. Callum’s disgust was something Ben could never live with. 

  
But closing his eyes just made Ben feel worse. In the darkness he pictured Callum with this other man's hands on him. He tortured himself thinking of another man feeling the incredible sensation of Callum inside him. Another man falling to pieces at the absolutely exquisite thrill of being inside Callum, feeling him clench tight as you thrust in hard and deep, making him utter the fucking sexiest and dirtiest curses as you pound into him; making him exhale those beautiful moans, the oh so sweet the sounds he makes, hearing how his breath hitches as you kiss that spot on his neck, just under his ear, that turns him boneless, and the way he bucks his hips and tries to draw you deeper inside him when you graze his nipples with your tongue, feeling him collapse when you bite.... 

  
The jealousy overtook him. He couldn’t let this happen. Not tonight. Not yet. Not ever?

  
As he aggressively pulled the pub door open, he saw the “date" head to the loos and Callum standing with his back to him as he ordered more drinks. Ben decided to follow the guy, this interloper, into the toilets. 

  
“Enjoying your date?” Ben enquired, eyeing up the man using the mirror, as he stood at the trough. 

  
“Eh, yeah, thanks.” Simon looked puzzled. 

  
“Don’t mean to be cheeky mate, but how did you manage to pull a big darlin’ like that. I mean, you’re not bad yourself, but ya punching a bit wiv him, ain’t ya? Just my opinion.” and he shrugged. 

  
Simon laughed as he finished up before going to wash his hands. 

  
“That _was_ quite cheeky, but you’re right. He’s so sweet – he has no idea how attractive he is. That said though, I reckon I’m a closer weight to him than you...” With that, he winked and he exited the toilets. 

  
Ben took a deep breath and then rushed out after him, a jealous fire raging in his belly but with no idea what to do with it. 

  
When he reached the bar, he saw the guy putting his jacket on, and Ben looked around, panicking as he couldn’t see Callum, but he could overhear Tina say something about a last first date? What the fuck?! Where was Callum?! Was he waiting outside for this guy?! What had he _done_?!

  
Simon looked at him and shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’m going home. By myself. Seems neither of you are over each other yet.” 

  
Relief flooded through Ben, before he thought about what the guy had actually said, realising he’d hadn’t been as slick as he thought and had given himself away. He didn’t care though. Callum had turned handsome vanilla down and was walking home. Alone. He sprinted out after him. 

  
He caught up with him in no time, the pounding of his heart louder in his ears than the pounding of his feet on the road, but his thudding alerted Callum, who turned round to see who was chasing him. 

  
They then stood facing each other, Ben panting and the air thick between them. “I, I, em, I....” Ben was still out of breath as he tried to speak. Callum took as step towards him, not breaking eye contact. Ben remained lost for words as he gazed in those eyes, captivated. Callum took another step closer, placing his hands up and thumbing away the tears that were free flowing down Ben’s flushed cheeks, tears Ben wasn’t aware he was shedding until Callum was tenderly wiping them away. Ben couldn’t hold back any longer and grabbed Callum into a needy kiss, crashing their lips together, as if he might die if he didn’t. 

  
Callum kissed him back, matching his hunger and soon tongues were dancing around each other, probing deep into each other’s mouths; as they slurped and gasped and moaned together, breathing life back into one another. Callum felt his own tears mingle with Ben’s that were still falling, as Ben clung to him like his life depended on it, balling his fists into his shirt. 

  
They broke their lips apart to catch their breath, foreheads touching as they panted.

  
“Cal. I... I... I do want your love. I _need_ it." 

  
“Ben. My love is always yours. Always." 

Their lips crashed together again – and while a time for talking would soon come, right now the things they had to tell each other, the things they had to say; they could only be said with deeds. Words were not enough. 


End file.
